On (Bad) Writing
- 8 minutes ago
- 7 min read
1) What is your Author name; use your Pen name if you have one.
JP Clark
2) What is your genre and what drew you to it?
My first book is an action/adventure/comedy/horror. My second was supposed to be a cyberpunk/western/horror, and turned more into an allegory about safety briefs and regulations. Horror’s a versatile genre, but we all know that, zombies are consumerism, slashers are Puritan remnants, aliens are Soviets or something, etc, etc. It has more versatility than the thriller, because you can have tentacle monsters. It has almost as much imagination as scifi and fantasy, but without having to learn actual physics, or make up 10,000 years of lore. It’s way better than nonfiction, because it usually can’t happen. But it’s still a genre, and genre is the shape of the picture frame, man, it’s about what you paint inside. Just because you have a Ford doesn’t mean you can’t put a Chevy motor into it, might be cool. Paint outside the lines and write in the margins, or draw vampire ducks, or something.
3) Which character of yours is your favorite and why?
I guess Mark Nero, the main character of both books, but I don’t know if I really like him that much. I had one reviewer describe him as a Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China figure, which I legit didn’t think about when I wrote him, but it’s pretty apt. He’s a guy with enough of a background to think he’s a tough customer. He thinks he’s the main character, but really he’s a dolt who’s getting in the way, a stick in the spokes of a larger, more competent narrative. The kind of guy who mistakes low aspiration for contentment. The type of guy who aspires to one day own a 2004 Mercury Marauder.
4) Which character of yours was the most challenging to write and why?
Agent Meredith Taylor in SHADOW OF THE WHITE SALAMANDER. In the first draft she was a generic dissonant serenity trope who spoke in monotone and wore sunglasses. Over time and rewrites, she shifted, became more philosophical, more theological, and the book shifted with her. The book was supposed to be a fun, stupid adventure where two people who didn’t really like each other fought killer robots and cyberpunks, and what came out with this introspective tale about failure, loss, loneliness, stability, and abandonment. Did it work? Meh, I don’t know. But she let me write dialogue more like a writer, as opposed writing it as someone would actually speak, that is to say, long, circular dialogues, full of imagery, and metaphor. She’s different from Mark Nero, a guy who deep down knows he’s dumb and sort of accepts; Meredith is a cat who legitimately believes she’s the smartest person in the room, and spouts off like she is, but upon closer inspection, she’s saying things just as dumb as the moron she’s talking to.
5) Do you prefer writing dialogue, action or other scenes?
Action is a hoot, but there can only be so many gunfights and kicks to the junk. No, dialogue is where it’s at. Good dialogue lets the reader pick up the kind of character they’re meeting, the exact style of sleazy a stranger wears. I love slang, jargon, insider terms, those can be deployed in narration, but they only go so far, one character has to talk turkey with another to splatter the page with jive. If your reader isn’t having to google the slang meanings of “yard sale,” “crummy,” “deucer crew,” “OODA Loop,” “long green,” and “whistle punk,” you either aren’t doing your job as a writer in teaching them, or you found the exact reader you’re looking for.
6) What is the one thing you wish you knew at the beginning of your writing journey?
Don’t make readers google things to understand what you’re talking about. Also there’s hella scammers looking to take advantage of indie authors. Paid scam reviews, review scam services, promises of kayfabe readers, offering phony social media follows. I haven’t got much on TikTok, but when I was still on Facebook and Threads, I’d receive a couple offers of these things a week. It’s unfortunate! Word of advice for fellow authors: vet the people you interact with. Also, if you cashapp me 40 bucks I can post a review for you on Amazon and Goodreads. Nah dawg, trust me, bro.
7) How much description do you give to your book characters?
Depends on the character and if it suits the plot. Mark gets some description, he references frequently he’s overweight, casually mentions he has a fu-manchu mustache and mullet, and is missing an ear, but not much else. Those have to be mentioned because it’s a set up to something about him later (a side hustle, so to speak), but his appearance isn’t really necessary. Meredith gets heavy description, but mostly is described in terms of nautical imagery. Where Mark is from where the high desert meets the forest, she is where the sea meets the broken coast. With some characters it’s really not important for description, let the dialogue tell the reader what the person is, unless they’re a wizard, then you gotta go into detail about their wizard robes and hat.
8) Pick five books that are must-reads in your mind.
-The Long Goodbye, Raymond Chandler. Don’t start with this one though, read all of Chandler and finish with this one. During my days overseas, I kept a copy in carryone for when I flew. Noir is about lowlifes, sleezeballs, dangerous people, bored people, people who sit in cars all night and contemplate honor, or hover over the sink eating slop from a cold pan. People may have dressed nicer in the 40s, but Marlowe would be just as at home interacting with mall kiosk phone salesmen and Juggalos.
-Shadow of the Torturer, Gene Wolfe (really the Book of the New Sun in general). I tried reading this when I was 23 years old and gave up halfway through. A decade and a half later, I tried again. Did I get it then? Hell no, I’ll never understand it, and I think that’s kind of the point. This is a book for writers. The amount of detail that is revealed by what isn’t said, or revealed through sideways story, or unreliable narration is what makes up the most interesting parts of the book. It’s not for everyone, but if you can make it to I Am Loyal To the Group of Seventeen’s story in book three or four, it’s worth reading over and over again.
-Bloodstone by Karl Edward Wagner. Really any Kane stories, there’s a mess of them out there, and they’re all equally difficult and easy to find. It’s sword and sorcery through the lens of 70s drugs and alcoholism, a time when you couldn’t judge a book by its cover, because every cover was awesome, and most of the books were terrible. Kane, the immortal swordsman/sorcery of the story, is a bad guy, a real piece of work, motivated as much by boredom as by worldly riches. One of the first fantasy books I read that involved ancient aliens (Bakker would later do it in the Second Apocalypse series, but I can’t recommend that, it’s way too dark).
-Garth Marenghi’s TerrorTome. Yeah, it’s that Garth Marenghi, from the short-lived BBC series that had a run on Adult Swim during my younger and more vulnerable years, loosely based on Guy N. Smith (of Night of the Crabs fame). I’ve found most comedy books don’t really have the ability to keep up the comedy (Confederacy of Dunces, for being hailed as a funny book, has exactly one funny line about selling hot dogs). If you liked the show, check out the books, there’s three of them, and they’re long, and they’re brilliant.
-The Blackwater Saga by Michael McDowell. Criminally underrated six part series originally published by Avon Publishing. Southern Gothic tale of a lady (who’s some kind of river monster) who marries into a rich southern family, and follows their petty and grand dramas for the next thirty years or so. Michael McDowell blends genres together so seamlessly, that when a vengeful child ghost shows up after protracted mother-in-law machinating over parties and land rights…well…yeah sure, why not, take me on this ride.
9) Which book, other than your own, would you like to see turned into a movie or T.V. show?
Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. Directed by Zack Snyder, starring Michael Cera as the Kid, and Steven Seagal as Judge Holden. Narrated by Vin Diesel.
10) What is your preferred method of reading a book? (Audio, paperback, hardcover, or eBook)
Paperback books. But I’m a lazy, tired fella who spends most of my time either driving or walking around, so I do the audiobook gimmick. I can read about three paragraphs and I’m checking out the inside of my eyelids for the next hour or so. I started reading Death of the Territories by Tim Hornbaker on my phone sometime in 2019, and I’m only up to like chapter 10.
11) If you could take one item out of any book that you have ever read, what would it be or why?
A 2004 Mercury Marauder out of the 2004 Mercury Marauder's Owner’s Manual.
12) What is the name of your book/series? Tell me a little bit about them.
The Americana Cycle is the series. It consists of Curse of the White Salamander and Shadow of the White Salamander, so far. It follows local drunk Mark Nero as he fights excommunicated Mormon cults, ninjas, monsters, robots, wizards, eldritch beings, and a big tech company. It’s kind of like John Die as the End if David was a middle aged dude who stopped watching TV after 9/11. The first book is fun, the second is dark. That’s how you do a series friends: tonal whiplash. That’ll put butts in seats.
13) Do you have a website? If so, what is it?
Nah, you can find me on amazon though (bring money).
14) Where can we find and follow you? (Name your social media platforms.)
Reddit! Home of all my short stories (some are kinda good!)
Tiktok (Warning: There are a couple fake accounts, notably one I found on Instagram, I don’t do business with Meta, but if you do, do ol’ JP a solid and report that fella!)
15) Is there anything important that you would want my readers to know about you?
I lit Doug Stanhope’s cigarette for him before a show in 2007. Also, if you’re my rich and sorta famous cousin and you’re reading this, send me a text, I wanna borrow money.
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